Vogue India recently released a video called "My Choice" -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtPv7IEhWRA. This video has garnered so much controversy in the Indian media that I finally felt obliged to watch it.
My conclusion? The video's message is great and the fuss is so very typical.
People have this strange notion that we are a society that `honors' and `respects' women because we worship women as goddesses of wealth (Lakshmi) or knowledge (Saraswati) or even as having the power to destroy the worst of men (Kaali) etc., or that our language is such that when men address women, the grammar and syntax change to make it sound more respectful. This is all true, but these are all embellishments, and do not amount to anything of substance. Besides, they enforce the notion that women must be respected for the sake of it, and boxed in a particular framework, also for the sake of it. The fact of the matter is that India as of today has one of worlds' worst gender-imbalance problems (especially in the north), and a large population of India holds extremely backward views on issues pertaining to the social and economic empowerment of women. The more I realize these things, the more it tears my heart, but such is the truth.
And, perhaps one of the worst problems with India and the Indian mindset is the obsession with sexual purity. This is what the video specifically targets, and that has created such a furor, because Indian people are just not ready to concede this. This notion of sexual purity is perhaps the most debilitating concept of them all for women. It may seem unscrupulous of me to put such an emphasis on this one aspect when there seem to so many more immediate, pressing concerns for Indian women, especially in villages--education, sanitation, economic empowerment--I would like to argue, however, that, none of this can be changed for the better when women don't even exert an influence on the man they choose to marry. If they are simply `objects' to be married off at the time they develop fertility, then how answerable will the man they marry be to their growth, needs, emotions and concerns? How will this man view her?
So as far as I am concerned, until and unless women in India are allowed to explore their sexuality with freedom and confidence, we will always remain way behind the rest of the world in terms of womens' rights. And to criticize this very nice effort for the one line "sex outside of marriage" is really missing the point and betraying much of the same poverty of thought prevalent in our society.
My conclusion? The video's message is great and the fuss is so very typical.
People have this strange notion that we are a society that `honors' and `respects' women because we worship women as goddesses of wealth (Lakshmi) or knowledge (Saraswati) or even as having the power to destroy the worst of men (Kaali) etc., or that our language is such that when men address women, the grammar and syntax change to make it sound more respectful. This is all true, but these are all embellishments, and do not amount to anything of substance. Besides, they enforce the notion that women must be respected for the sake of it, and boxed in a particular framework, also for the sake of it. The fact of the matter is that India as of today has one of worlds' worst gender-imbalance problems (especially in the north), and a large population of India holds extremely backward views on issues pertaining to the social and economic empowerment of women. The more I realize these things, the more it tears my heart, but such is the truth.
And, perhaps one of the worst problems with India and the Indian mindset is the obsession with sexual purity. This is what the video specifically targets, and that has created such a furor, because Indian people are just not ready to concede this. This notion of sexual purity is perhaps the most debilitating concept of them all for women. It may seem unscrupulous of me to put such an emphasis on this one aspect when there seem to so many more immediate, pressing concerns for Indian women, especially in villages--education, sanitation, economic empowerment--I would like to argue, however, that, none of this can be changed for the better when women don't even exert an influence on the man they choose to marry. If they are simply `objects' to be married off at the time they develop fertility, then how answerable will the man they marry be to their growth, needs, emotions and concerns? How will this man view her?
So as far as I am concerned, until and unless women in India are allowed to explore their sexuality with freedom and confidence, we will always remain way behind the rest of the world in terms of womens' rights. And to criticize this very nice effort for the one line "sex outside of marriage" is really missing the point and betraying much of the same poverty of thought prevalent in our society.
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