Ronnie O' Sullivan. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/03/30/follow-the-white-ball.
I relate to him. The stress, depression, the constant self-doubt. It's funny how I zone in on these kinds of people; it's like I'm naturally in tune with them. Every time I feel like I've found a person I really admire, it turns out that they are a depressed smoker. It's not even a joke. I like people who are intelligent and emotional/passionate at the same time, and maybe for this you need to be oddly pathetic and self-deriding. When I got obsessed with Faiz, it was easy to verify that he was a depressed smoker, then it was Van Gogh, in another age it was Stephen Fry, and now after watching many games of snooker: Ronnie O'Sullivan. Goes without saying I'm not a genius like Ronnie, but that doesn't change one thing that I've discovered for myself and one thing which is really helpful. Running beats smoking. When Ronnie says, "When I run, I don't ever feel like smoking but the last six weeks I haven't been able to... I was feeling sorry for myself and decided to start smoking again.", I totally understand.
I feel so much better running. I'm grossly out of shape so progress is easy. It's too soon to say how long I'll keep this up. It's only been 2 weeks since I started. I'm doing about 2 miles every day. Hopefully I'll keep increasing both speed and endurance and get myself to be like Ronnie.
Update: Today when I started to run, it became really cold and for 5-6 minutes it was snowing. By the end of it, my legs and head and hands were basically feeling frozen. It was awesome, and it makes you feel like you're like a yogi powering through your sense of cold lol. But, maybe it's not smart and I should've been dressed better and shorts and t-shirt.
Also, I need to understand how to fix pain. I don't stop because I'm out of breath. I stop because my left ankle feels sprained because of my flat foot. That's probably not good. I have to find a way to fix this.
Update 2: I bought new (FLAMING RED) shoes for better arch support and it did help, but not much. Also, I need to stop being obsessed with running the whole distance in one stretch. I could probably make faster progress if I just stopped a few times, and ran a lot more.
Update 3: I'm getting addicted to running. Every moment I don't have anything useful to do, I want to spend running.
Update 4: Today I felt amazing about my run. I ran about 2.3 miles but I wasn't even tired at the end of it. I really felt that I could have just kept on running and running forever, most certainly a 5K. I don't know why but it felt like I was past a phase transition today; it's like a point beyond which if you convince yourself mentally, and physically, that you just have to keep going on, you really can keep on running.
Why I stopped at 2.3 miles is of course because I try to set a length at which to turn around on the tow-path, and that kind of (but not really) sets how much I can run from my home and back. I just didn't realize that somehow I'd be so happy running today so I turned around near my usual point of turning around. And my shins/feet didn't hurt either: this time I ran with a combination of the red shoes that work like magic on my left foot, and the aqua blue shoes that work like magic on the right foot. :D It looks a bit silly. I mean, if I was a pro soccer player, it'd be cool, but I'm not. An old woman was walking calmly in the opposite direction to my run and she shot me the most hilarious smile ever like, "these young fashion-obsessed kids". Ma'am, it's a matter of practicality for me!
I relate to him. The stress, depression, the constant self-doubt. It's funny how I zone in on these kinds of people; it's like I'm naturally in tune with them. Every time I feel like I've found a person I really admire, it turns out that they are a depressed smoker. It's not even a joke. I like people who are intelligent and emotional/passionate at the same time, and maybe for this you need to be oddly pathetic and self-deriding. When I got obsessed with Faiz, it was easy to verify that he was a depressed smoker, then it was Van Gogh, in another age it was Stephen Fry, and now after watching many games of snooker: Ronnie O'Sullivan. Goes without saying I'm not a genius like Ronnie, but that doesn't change one thing that I've discovered for myself and one thing which is really helpful. Running beats smoking. When Ronnie says, "When I run, I don't ever feel like smoking but the last six weeks I haven't been able to... I was feeling sorry for myself and decided to start smoking again.", I totally understand.
I feel so much better running. I'm grossly out of shape so progress is easy. It's too soon to say how long I'll keep this up. It's only been 2 weeks since I started. I'm doing about 2 miles every day. Hopefully I'll keep increasing both speed and endurance and get myself to be like Ronnie.
Update: Today when I started to run, it became really cold and for 5-6 minutes it was snowing. By the end of it, my legs and head and hands were basically feeling frozen. It was awesome, and it makes you feel like you're like a yogi powering through your sense of cold lol. But, maybe it's not smart and I should've been dressed better and shorts and t-shirt.
Also, I need to understand how to fix pain. I don't stop because I'm out of breath. I stop because my left ankle feels sprained because of my flat foot. That's probably not good. I have to find a way to fix this.
Update 2: I bought new (FLAMING RED) shoes for better arch support and it did help, but not much. Also, I need to stop being obsessed with running the whole distance in one stretch. I could probably make faster progress if I just stopped a few times, and ran a lot more.
Update 3: I'm getting addicted to running. Every moment I don't have anything useful to do, I want to spend running.
Update 4: Today I felt amazing about my run. I ran about 2.3 miles but I wasn't even tired at the end of it. I really felt that I could have just kept on running and running forever, most certainly a 5K. I don't know why but it felt like I was past a phase transition today; it's like a point beyond which if you convince yourself mentally, and physically, that you just have to keep going on, you really can keep on running.
Why I stopped at 2.3 miles is of course because I try to set a length at which to turn around on the tow-path, and that kind of (but not really) sets how much I can run from my home and back. I just didn't realize that somehow I'd be so happy running today so I turned around near my usual point of turning around. And my shins/feet didn't hurt either: this time I ran with a combination of the red shoes that work like magic on my left foot, and the aqua blue shoes that work like magic on the right foot. :D It looks a bit silly. I mean, if I was a pro soccer player, it'd be cool, but I'm not. An old woman was walking calmly in the opposite direction to my run and she shot me the most hilarious smile ever like, "these young fashion-obsessed kids". Ma'am, it's a matter of practicality for me!
